Fetish or Turn On?

When is a turn on a fetish and a fetish actually just a turn on?

I recently read an online article examining why people like creampies (yeah, I actually did) and the author, a member of the fetish community, was calling it a fetish. Which begs the question, is liking creampies really a fetish or just a turn on?

People ejaculating inside of one another is extremely common place. It’s been happening since the beginning of time. It’s a part of mating, and reproduction, and often just good fun. Sorry, but creampies are pretty much vanilla, and just liking it or liking doing it doesn’t make it a fetish.

I personally love feeling a man cum inside me. It’s very primal. I’d rather be cream-filled, than receive a facial or having him cum on my tits. Being plowed and filled is a serious turn on, but does this mean I have a “Creampie Fetish”? No. I also love nipple play and hard kisses but once again these are turn ons, not fetishes.

A sexual fetish involves an extreme fixation on an object or act, which leads to arousal and/or sexual release. Often, persons with a fetish are unable to achieve arousal without that special something they are fixated on. Some can’t cum at all. Like all things, there are no definites. A person with a foot fetish may be able to have sex without feet being involved, but are they really enjoying themselves? It’s very unlikely.

If someone had a creampie fetish, they would not just “like it”, they would “need it” on some level. And that may really be the test. Do you need a special object or act to achieve complete sexual satisfaction? If so, then let me congratulate you for having an actual fetish. If not, you have a delicious turn on, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

Sensual BDSM

While BDSM is known for whips, chains, and degradation, Sensual BDSM is something entirely different. Sensual BDSM is for the sensualists, those who want to experience pleasure – not pain.

It can involve massage oils, feathers, tickle play, foot worship, light pain and sweet words. At times it may be so tame that it appears vanilla, but at its core it’s still a D/s relationship and its the ‘D”s responsibility to get the ‘s’ to subspace.

Being a Sensual Switch, I hate humiliation and degradation – both giving and receiving. I love bringing people to orgasm, bringing them pleasure – just as I love being tied up with silky, bright-colored chiffon scarves and teased with ice cubes.

Safe words are still a necessity, especially for tickle sessions that can easily get out of hand. 🙂

Is It Incest?

The general assumption by those not familiar with BDSM, Kink & Fetish, is that the Daddy/Babygirl relationship is incestuous.

It’s not. It’s a Domination/submission (D/s) relationship.

On the D/s spectrum, Daddy/Babygirl is a warmer and more loving relationship than Master/slave. Play may be less strict, with more laughing and more cuddles. Often the Babygirl seeks the approval of her Daddy, wanting to make him happy by performing acts that please him. The Daddy will in turn take care of her, giving her whatever special treatment she enjoys as a reward for her good behavior.

One thing is constant: The Daddy calls the shots and the Babygirl does what she’s told. There is some variation depending on the Limits set by the individuals involved. Some couples like rough play, some are into Age Play, and some Babygirls are horrible Brats.

Now – If the individuals involved have incest as a fetish, then they will pretend their relationship is incestuous – even if they are not actually blood related.  Remember, it’s just pretend.

The Daddy/Babygirl relationship is not limited to older Daddies and younger Babygirls either. They can be the same age or in some rare cases have an older Babygirl and a younger Daddy.

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Some people need a little help pinpointing their respective kinks and we often have more than one.

A helpful tool is the BDSM Test.

My results are as follows:

95% Voyeur
92% Switch
87% Rigger
86% Primal (Hunter)
76% Dominant
72% Non-monogamist
71% Exhibitionist
71% Master/Mistress
62% Vanilla
61% Rope bunny
60% Owner
51% Experimentalist
38% Submissive
34% Primal (Prey)
34% Brat tamer
28% Daddy/Mommy
16% Brat
6% Pet
5% Sadist
4% Slave
4% Girl/Boy
3% Ageplayer
2% Degrader
2% Masochist
0% Degradee



Bondage is Beautiful

As someone who spends every day actively trying to keep her life from spinning out of control, Bondage is beautiful…it is bliss.

And I’m not talking about Bondage Art, of which I am a great admirer. I do envy the naked Rope Bunnies, tied so intricately with the skilled Rigger’s brightly-colored rope. I’m especially envious when they are made to fly.

All I need is to be restrained, pretty rope or not, to find that perfect state of bliss.

When you are bound, you can do nothing and when you can do nothing, you can stop worrying about the things you can do nothing about. All your problems melt away. You become aware of your breathing, feeling your chest fill and empty, as the rope gives you a reassuring hug. You are helpless, but the Top who tied you up will keep you safe. You can let go the need to control and give it to your Top. Being in control is no longer your responsibility or your burden. You can simply “Be”.

To me, Bondage is beautiful.

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