The following is meant to help explain terminology and acronyms related to BDSM, Kink, and Fetish.

The emphasis is on non-mainstream terminology. It does not waste time defining words like “fellatio”. If you do not know what “fellatio” means, you do not belong here.

It also skips some of the more ‘gross’ fetishes and acts. They will never be mentioned in this blog, so I don’t feel the need to list them.

This page will be added to over time.


Aftercare: The time after a play session in which the participants calm down, and slowly come back in touch with reality. Aftercare may consist of being away from noise, activity, bright light; physical closeness and touching with the partner (ie. cuddling); hydration with water or sport drink; keeping warm.

Age Play: A form of role play in which one or more of the participants takes on an age other than their own, whether older or younger.

Anal Training: When a bottom inserts progressively larger objects (usually butt plugs) in their ass in order to stretch the anal sphincter, in preparation for such activities as anal sex and fisting.


Babygirl: An endearment for a female sub, usually given by a Daddy.

Big Black Cock (BBC)

Big Beautiful Woman (BBW): A female with curves.

BDSM: A multiple acronym for Bondage & Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sado-Masochism.

Bondage: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner.

Bondage & Discipline (BD or B&D): A part of the multiple acronym BDSM. Refers to the primary physical aspect of BDSM; that of restraint and of physical play.

Bottom: A person who receives (ie. has things done to them) in a scene. Or in other words, the catcher – not the pitcher.

Brat: A sub that has a reputation for talking back, being disrespectful or mildly disobedient.

Breeding: An act where a male will have unprotected sex, resulting in ejaculation, with a male (anus) or female (vagina). Sometimes done with the intent to impregnate a female that wants to get pregnant.

Breeding Party: A party attended by females who want to be bred, and males who wish to breed them. The females will have sex with a couple different men over the course of the night.

Bull: A male with a big cock that services females.


Chastity: A situation where a person refrains willingly from either having sex or masturbating, or is prevented by means of a device that blocks stimulation or makes it painful.

cis female: Females that were born female.

cis male: Males that were born male.

Cock Milking: An act where a male receives prostate massage, until semen is drawn from his penis. This is done without him experiencing orgasm.

Collar: A symbol that indicates a submissive or slave is in a relationship. Often an actual Collar, but can also be anything from an anklet to a bracelet to whatever the “couple” decides it to be.

Contract: A written agreement between a Dom and sub. Generally, it outlines the structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries of the relationship. It is not, nor is it intended to be, legally binding.

Cross Dresser/Transvestite (CD/TV): A person who dresses and/or behaves in a manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex. Usually straight, not always.

Cuckold: A man who likes to watch his wife have sex with other men, sometimes assuming a submissive role in the scene.

Cuckqueen: A female version of a cuckold.


Daddy: A Dom who takes on a caregiving role in a D/s relationship, usually with a Babygirl.

D-type (short for “Dominant-type”): A universal term including all forms of Doms, Dommes, Owners, Tops, etc.

Dom or D (short for ‘dominant’): A person who exercises control over a sub. Usually the male form, but nowadays can be used for a female dominant. Domme or Domina is the female form.

Dom Drop: A state of withdrawal experienced by a Dom who has an intense interaction with a sub.

Domination/submission (D/s): A relationship where one person dominates and the other submits.

Double Penetration (DP): An act where a female is fucked by one male in the vagina and one in the ass, simultaneously.


Edging: An act where a sub is brought to the edge of orgasm, then denied release, often done over and over again. If eventually allowed to cum, the resulting orgasm is very intense.


Female to Male Transgender (FtM): A person who transitioned from female to male.

Feminization: A process by which males dress up as a females, wear makeup, and act like females.

Fetish: Sexual excitement that is created by a specific object, body part, or activity not usually associated with sexual arousal.

Furry: A person drawn to anthropomorphic animals, sometimes to the point of dressing up like one. Sex sometimes occurs, but not always.


Hard Limit: A type of play that someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable.


Impact Play: Play involving a bottom being struck. Can be done with various objects.

IRL (In Real Life)


Kink: Unconventional sexual preferences or behavior.


Male to Female Transgender (MtF): A person who transitioned from male to female.

Masochist: A person who enjoys receiving pain or humiliation. May or may not be sexual.

Master/slave or Mistress/slave (M/s): A consensual relationship in which the Master has ownership of the slave. A relatively intense form of D/s. The relationship is more likely to be 24/7.


Orgasm Denial: When a bottom is not permitted to reach sexual orgasm without permission.


Pansexual: A person who is sexually attracted to others based upon factors that are not limited to gender.

Pegging: An act where females fuck males with strap-on dildos.

Phone Sex Operator (PSO): A female or male who participates in phone sex with clients.

Plushophile: A person with a devotion to stuffed animals, which is often emotional and sometimes sexual. They are casually referred to as “Plushies” and are not to be confused with Furries.

Prostate Massage: Stimulation of the prostate by a finger or object inserted into the anus. May be used alone or for the enhancement of orgasms through intercourse, oral sex or masturbation.


Race Play: A roleplay in which the players act out racially-charged situations, such as interracial slave-master relationships. Racial slurs are used.

Rigger: A person who applies functional or artistic rope bondage. Sometimes the name is used interchangeably with “Rope Top”. Admit it, Rigger sounds way cooler than Rope Top.

Rope Bottom: A person who is tied up with rope.

Rope Bunny: A person who has functional or artistic rope bondage applied to them. Sometimes the name is used interchangeably with “Rope Bottom”. Admit it, Rope Bunny sounds way cooler than Rope Bottom.

Rope Top: A person who ties another person up with rope.


Sadomasochism (S/M or S&M): A relationship where one person likes to give pain and the other likes to receive pain.

Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): A standard of conduct for the healthy enjoyment of BDSM participants; but with an emphasis on making any activity as “safe” and “sane” as possible.

Safe Words: Words used to stop BDSM play. Can be anything selected by the players, but need to be shared and agreed upon before play begins.

Scene: A period of time devoted to BDSM activity, also known as a “session” or “play”.

Sensual BDSM: BDSM that focuses on pleasure, rather than pain.

Sissy: A male sub who undergoes feminization. Usually straight, not always.

Soft Limit: A type of play that someone might do. It may be flexible, may be pushed or may change over time and/or with experience or knowledge of that type of play.

s-type (short for “submissive-type”): A universal term including all forms of subs, bottoms, etc.

sub or s: (short for ‘submissive’) A person who give ups control to a dominant partner.

sub drop: A state of withdrawal experienced by a sub who has an intense interaction with a Dom.

sub frenzy: a very strong, sometimes overwhelming, desire to find a Dom or to become immersed in BDSM-related activities. Can cloud judgement.

subspace: A “natural high” that a sub may experience during intense physical or emotional play. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that the Dominant takes responsibility for the submissive and care for their well-being while they are in subspace. Subspace can vary widely between subs and in any sub’s reaction to a given “scene”. The degree and length of “floating” can be used to gauge how strongly s/he was affected by the “scene” and can affect how much aftercare is needed.

Switch: A person who can be either dominant or submissive.


Tease and Denial: The act of keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing orgasm.

Top: A person who gives (ie. acts upon another) in a scene. Or in other words, the pitcher – not the catcher.

Topping from the Bottom (TFTB): A bottom who attempts to manipulate the Top, in an attempt to gain attention or to have his/her own needs met.

Transgender (Trans): A person who lives (full-time or only under certain circumstances) as the opposite gender from which they were born. May or may not have had chemical treatments or surgery. Not necessarily an indication of their sexual partner preference.


Vanilla: A person, act, or behavior which is not involved with kink or is considered kinky.


Whore’s Bath: A quick wash of the arm pits and naughty bits in preparation for sex.

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